Monica is married now…

Monica Denise Arnold became Mrs. Shannon Brown on November 22, 2010 in Los Angeles.

Speculators and haters have been bashing the union, questioning maternity, and making bets that Monica tried to beat gal pal Keyshia Cole to the altar. Well whatever the reason is for her quick nuptials, is it really anyone’s business?

Let’s give this girl a break. She had a series of bad seeds including her children’s father (loathe the title “baby daddy”), that arrogant No Limit-Now-Doing-Lifer C-Murder, and not to mention the ex who committed suicide in front of her. Sometimes you have to go through the jungle to get to the sea, but clearly Mr. Brown, who by the way can’t seem to stop smiling when she’s around, is clearly the one for her.

Shannon comes from a good family, was raised by two loving parents, and clearly knows how to treat his woman. He is not frowning or grabbing her ass in pictures, not walking two steps ahead of her, and not letting anyone disrespect her. He takes up for his woman, and that’s the kind of man you want.

Let’s not be bitter women and hate on this legal black love. Monica can really call herself a basketball “wife”…unlike some other folk. Now some of you need to find your own love, and stop reading self-help books written by dogs like Steve Harvey (who never had no women to begin with until he got famous). Yeah, I said it. Now runteldat to the Strawberry Letter.

2010 has seen the Summer of Love. More weddings and engagements have taken place this year than I recall in more recent years. I became a fiancee this year as well, but also saw rapper T.I. finally marry his baby mama Tiny; Martin Lawrence married his longtime girlfriend Shamicka Gibbs, mother of his two of his three daughters; Lala became Mrs. Carmelo Anthony after a five-year engagement, and singer Alicia Keys married  producer Swizz Beatz, perhaps the most controversial union of them all.

While it is good to see black love, the union of Keys and Swizz Beats was a bit disturbing. Now because we are all on the outside looking in, it is easy to say what we might or might not do in the name of love. But I have never understood one woman’s desire to become involved with a man who is still emotionally or legally attached to another.

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Are you being played? If you’re in a relationship with a man and something just doesn’t seem quite right, it probably isn’t.

Too many times we ignore our gut feeling in hopes of magically making a situation out to be something that it isn’t. If you’re uncertain about you and your “man’s” future, he’re a few surefire ways to let you know you need to dump him and take you stilettos to the nearest exit.

1. He has limited communication with you. You have a cell phone number and email and that’s it. If you’ve been seeing a man for a while and have never been to his home or your don’t know where he works, honey you are being duped. Men with something to hide purposely leave women in the dark. Check him out, and if your findings are unfavorable (i.e. he’s married, gay, or both). Cut him off.

2. He only calls or sees you at night. You’re a booty call boo. Nothing more nothing less. You will not be his woman because he does not respect you enough to be with you in  position that is not horizontal.

3. He is verbally, mentally or physically abusive. Do I really need to go into detail about why you need to get away from this man? This is a guaranteed trip to the ER, the funeral home, or an episode of Snapped.

4. He pulls disappearing acts. It’s possible for a man to let you into his life–well part of it and then disappear without giving it a second thought. If he’s gone suddenly on weekends or nights and you can’t reach him by phone during times of emergency or such. Chances are he’s got another life or a wife.

5. He’s never invited you to his home. This one is synonymous with number 1. But know off the bat, if it’s been a few months since you’ve been dating nad he never brings you to his house, girl you need to let that go and don’t look back. He’s got something going on and whatever it is, you don’t want to be a part of it.

Congratulations to the happy couple. LaLa Vasquez and Carmelo Anthony were married today in New York city at a lavish, star-studded ceremony. We know LaLa is saying FINALLY! We wish them both the best.

Is the onset of summer taking its toll on your relationship? Now is not the time to let things fall apart. You can have a summer fling with your man, hubby, or boyfriend and make him remember why he’s so lucky to have you. Don’t let the hot weather cool your relationship, keep the fire going with these five simple tips.

Activate your sexy. More heat, less clothes! Well not necessarily. Summer just means sundresses, flip-flops, shorts, and low-cut tops. Keep your man’s attention by showing a little skin every now and then. Men love summer, and they especially love sundresses. I’m not sure what it is they do for them, but there’s something about a flowing dress that brings a man to his knees.

Talk it Out. Summer often makes relationships stagnant because couples tend to get into their own thing. Travel plans, family reunions, work schedules often take a toll on couples spending time together. Share your plans with one another, and communicate regularly. Sometimes just sharing your day can take a load off. Go out for a Mojito and share your thoughts with each other.

Take a trip. Summer getaways are so romantic. Take a weekend trip somewhere and reconnect. Whether its to the islands, the beach, Vegas or wine country, spend time with your mate/spouse and find new reasons to fall in love again.

Keep sex and intimacy alive. Physical intimacy is important. Men are indeed physical creatures so denying him the booty can have disastrous results. Never be to busy for sex, it’s how we often connect and share our deepest feelings. Spend at least 15 minutes a day stimulating each other physically and mentally. Sex is about more than a physical bond, emotional bonds make it even stronger.

Hang out. Summer is the perfect time to hang with your mate. Whether its on the porch, at the club, or at neighborhood gathering, just spending time together will make your relationship even stronger. Sometimes it’s the simplest things in life that make the most impact.